


Two Hands, Two Views

by squirrelmort



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, Reigisa Week, hand holding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-11
Updated: 2016-01-11
Packaged: 2018-05-13 03:24:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5692729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squirrelmort/pseuds/squirrelmort
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rei debates holding Nagisa's hand, and Nagisa reacts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Hands, Two Views

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to experiment with first-person. 
> 
> Written for Reigisa Week Three Day One--Handholding

**Rei**

On the train home Nagisa fell asleep on my shoulder, as usual. But this time his hand was not holding his bag or in his lap. No, this time is was lying palm-up _on my leg_.

 

If I moved it Nagisa would surely wake up and complain. Furthermore, it was not a nuisance. His hand was not heavy or painful, and it was no more intimate than his head on my shoulder, or any of his other physical acts when he is awake. Clearly the best course of action would be to just ignore it. I took my eye of his hand and returned to my reading.

 

“His.” _Has anyone else noticed Nagisa’s hand? No, the car is empty._ “His seeming.” _Maybe I should move it. He's a deep sleeper. He won’t notice._ “solicitude.” _Stop thinking about his hand stop thinking about his hand stop…_ I made it to the end of the page before I realized I had not absorbed a single word. Nagisa had not moved a muscle. His head was still on my shoulder, his chest moved rhythmically with his breath, and his hand stared at me.

 

_I should hold his hand._ I could feel myself blush as soon as the thought entered my head. Where did that come from? That was ridiculous. I could never do such a thing. What would Nagisa say when he woke up and discovered I had done such a thing? He never gave me permission to hold his hand. He would never trust me again. It would ruin our friendship. He would never lean against my shoulder again (which I swear I do not secretly enjoy--why would I? That is ridiculous. I don't even know why I thought that.). I could never take advantage of his trust like that. Never.

 

But, then again, this is Nagisa. The same boy who did not think twice about using my first name. He had no problem leaning against me without asking, grabbing me with no warning, or dragging me wherever he wished to go. Our hands had surely touched before. What would make this so special? I could just put my hand on his. It would be no different than when our shoulders touched or he wrapped his arms around my neck demanding a piggy-back ride. He probably wouldn’t even notice when he woke up. And hands are just extensions of arms. They have more nerve endings than the rest of the arm, but that just makes them more sensitive, not more important. Just because society places special meaning on hand holding did not mean we had to. Nagisa never showed any particular respect to social convention anyhow.

 

I wouldn't grab his hand. Just place mine on his. It would be perfectly casual. I placed my book down and froze when Nagisa’s breath caught-- _had he felt my arm move?_ But he quickly fell back into the same rhythm, and showed no other signs of waking up. I released the breath I hadn't meant to hold. Slowly, careful not to move my shoulder. I placed my hand on his.

 

* * *

 

**Nagisa**

_Oh my God. Rei-chan is holding my hand_. _Ok, it's more like he is touching my hand, but it totally counts._

 

I woke up when Rei’s arm moved, but kept my eyes closed, intent on falling back to sleep, because he never let me rest my head on his shoulder when I was awake, but then he put his hand on mine and there was no way I was going to sleep through that. It took all my willpower not to wrap my fingers around his hand and never let go. I was sure the only way to make the moment last was to convince him I was still asleep. If he knew I was awake he would never do such a thing.

 

Rei moved his thumb between my thumb and pointer. His other fingers fell over the edge of my palm. _Wow, has his hand always been this big? Wait--was my hand in his lap? How did I manage that without him pushing me away? Congratulations, sleep-me._ I wondered how long this would last. I listened to the train announcements. Three more stops until ours. Meaning two more until Rei would wake me up. Would he remove his hand before he did? Pretend it had never happened? Staying still was getting uncomfortable. An itch started in my shoulder and spread to the middle of my back. If I scratched it now, Rei would know I was awake. I would just have to wait until we reached out stop.

 

But what if I did “wake up” before then? I could really hold his hand. I could make him admit he wanted to. There is no way he could deny it. His hand had already been there way too long to be an accident. Yeah, that would work.

 

“You could’ve just asked,” I said, hooking my thumb around his to make it clear that I felt his hand, and create a bit of an obstruction if he tried to move it away. “You didn't have to wait until I was asleep to hold my hand.”

 

“Nagisa-kun! How long have you been awake?”

 

“Not long,” I answered with a yawn. I lifted my head to look at him. He stared back at me with red cheeks. I intertwined my fingers with his, and watched as his entire face turned red. “Oh my god, Rei-chan!” I couldn't help but laugh.

 

“Nagisa-kun, please stop laughing.”

 

I took a deep breath to settle myself. Rei waited. “Rei-chan, I have an important question.” I held back a smile when Rei swallowed. He was so cute when he was nervous. “Could you scratch my back? My right hand won't reach and my left is kind of preoccupied.” I squeezed his hand. “Please, Rei-chan?”

 

“I… Yes, of course, Nagisa-kun.”

 

With a giggle I turned. “Just under my left shoulder. Ah, yes, that's the spot.”

  
I let go of his hand as the trained reached our stop. I was going to his place to study. Neither of us said anything about the hand holding that night. But the next morning on the train I stood next to him. I let my free hand find his, and he didn't let go.


End file.
